...could never quite believe is the shit people tend to deep fry nowadays.

I won't say that I don't deep fry potatoes now or then, but really? All these things you come up with seem a little bit disgusting to me. Even when you try to make them look good.
So, as to creep all you guys out a little bit - here's some cooking you should probably never attempt. (I think European cooks are crying right now).

1. Butter

That's right guys, deep fried butter. Apparently you make these by freezing the butter fist, then battering them and then frying them. I have to admit that butter is not exactly my favorite kind of food even when it comes to just a fine layer of it on my bread (I'm a margarine person, not that that's healthier, I just don't like the taste of butter). This, tho... a whole piece of greasy butter you can bite into just like that? Yuck, I say. 

2. Beer


Yeah, this wondrous thing is made by pouring beer inside ravioli and then frying them. I'm not sure what would be more interesting in seeing someone eat this: their face as they bite into it and the hot beer pours into their mouth, or the taste of piss-hot beer. And if you decide to wait till they get cold, I bet that this "food" will also have some other "juices" in it than beer. Probably frozen oil and/or grease. 

3. Salads 

I'm not sure how many of you actually like the taste of deep-fried vegetables (I really don't, especially because they tend to suck up all the grease and become disgusting), but if you do, this is your thing. I would also not recommend this to those who are on a diet. It's all nice to have a salad or two, but I don't think they remain half as healthy once you place them into the boiling oil. 

4. Oreos

Damn it, really? I mean - sure, Oreos are nice and all, but I had some way tastier biscuits for a lot less money. Also, I really wouldn't want to ruin them with deep frying. What's the reason behind making something like this? 

5. Pickles 

I usually have to have some kind of side-dish with all my food (as in, grated cabbage, pickles or other sour vegetables). And since today we are apparently deep frying everything, why not try out deep frying pickles? I'm guessing they must taste something like sour chips, right? 

6. Chocolate

Oh, Western societies, where would we be now without you? Apparently we wouldn't have deep fried chocolates... be them Snickers, Mars, Kit Kat or any other bars that you like - chocolate eggs included. Look. We get it. Chocolate is good. So why ruin it? It's not like you can come up with something better. 

7. Coke

No, not THAT coke. Actually, after all these food you might probably want to serve some soda, right? I guess you came to the wrong place for a drink, tho, because apparently not even sodas are safe now. First beer, and now Coke? Thank god, no one touched Pepsi yet. Also, here's a fun fact. Deep fried Coke comes from the same person who came up with deep fried butter. I'm sensing a terrible plan here. 

And, oh dear god, why am I hungry right now?