I have no idea why, or what caused this, but I just am.
It's actually one of those feeling you get when something really good happens to you... you know the one... when you are in the middle of talking with somebody or singing or just sitting alone in your room and having the need to shout and laugh and... I don't know, hug someone, I guess.
Which I am, right now. Absolutely alone in the house, drinking a beer and singing along to a couple of songs. My throat hurts from the cold drink and because I don't sing like I should, but I don't give a shit.
I actually remembered a completely foreign guy who told me once that I should sing - which was a little bit strange cause I know that I can't sing a correct tune unless a teacher helps me warm up and some other people don't sing along with me (Yes, I was in the choir both in school, and there was a time when I had to sing for the church too).
But now I guess, I understand what he meant. I will never become a good entertainer for others but I will always be able to entertain myself.
Which is great, cause I prefer to be left alone - or with only a couple of people around me- 99% of the time.
I'm not an overly social person as you might know - I do have a couple of friends, but I can't support to be in a larger group for a long time. In fact I don't know how many times I refused to attend a party or two in favor of staying home and chatting over the internet or just watching a good movie.
So I'm just an antisocial little bastard, you might say. And I won't deny it.
I will always prefer reading a book under a tree instead of drinking in a noisy pub.
I will always prefer walking alone in the rain instead of shrieking like a bunch of banshees when a few drops of it falls on my hair.
I will always prefer keeping my secrets to myself instead of babbling them out to the pack of hyenas some people call friends.
And you know what makes me happy?
I actually have a bunch of them here for you... let's see how many we share?
1. Finishing a book. I always get butterflies in my stomach whenever a book is so good you wish it would never end, and then when I see that there are only a couple of pages left I usually try to stretch it out so it will last longer.
2. Getting nostalgic. It's actually strange, but whenever I recall 'those good old times' I usually feel a lot happier where I am now. I guess being grateful for all the wonderful things that happened to you in your life will get you there.
3. Good conversation. Even if we end up sharing tasteless jokes about poop, having a good conversation with me will probably clue you in that I consider you a friend. I don't love to talk about things that I'm not interested in, so if you ever found yourself in a long-winded conversation with me, you'll know that we have something in common. And that I'm happy to share what I know with you, and I'm open to hear your opinions.
4. Understanding how something works. I remember a lot of frustrated nights from my childhood when dad made me stay up until I finally understood how to do simple math. Since then I usually get that happy feeling whenever I finally understand how things go, how they work, or whenever I just figure out the answer to a question.
5. Internet radios. There are so many of them, and I don't always have time to check them out. But when I do, I always find new things to enjoy about them - radios that have only one genre of music, radios that have interesting topics, radios that will lead you to new knowledge. Which brings us to the next part.
6. Learning something new. I guess this kinda goes together with number 4, but what the hell? If you are not new around here, than you already know that I love searching up new things, hunting down new information and finding interesting stuff. Sadly I don't always keep them in mind, but it's always good to feel that my brain gets the necessary work-out for the day - even if I don't.
7. Daydreaming. Oh, I do it a LOT. Chances are that if you know me, you already know that sometimes I just don't pay attention. About 80% of those times will be because I'm daydreaming about something or other. I like coming up with stories and characters I won't ever put down on a paper, and I love thinking about how some old information I gathered somewhere finally makes sense.
8. Stars. When I was a kid whenever we went to the countryside we used to sit out in the dark at night and watch the stars. The grown-ups around us used to tell stories and share a lot of interesting things from their childhood. I still love looking at stars whenever I'm in nature and there aren't any clouds out there, though I have to admit, I can barely recognize one or two constellations. I always wished someone would take me to an observatory, but sadly it never actually worked out. I still envy those kids who get awesome telescopes as gifts...
9. Pampering my senses. Whenever I meet someone new the first thing that usually sticks to my mind is the sound of their voice. I don't know why, but I have this thing -should I call it instinct?- that makes me either trust or detest people after the first couple of words they say. After that, I don't think I have to tell you guys, that I love good music - be it either just instrumental, or someone else singing along with it. Then come the smells - the smell of freshly cut grass, the smell off electricity, the smell of the world around us after rain. I guess it won't be necessary to bore you guys with the others - you all get the picture by now.
10. Getting recognition. I guess it's not a big surprise- I do enjoy getting recognition for something I've done right, hearing back from people I helped somehow. It makes me think I'm not useless...
So, I guess this is my top 10 for today. Who's up to the challenge of making his or her own list and share it with us?
