...love criticizing, is the Bible.

I know, I know, I'm going to hell for this - but quite frankly, there is a LOT to criticize about it. I'm guessing that the reason behind this is that a lot of people pulled out relevant things from it - or the opposite, just added to it what felt nice. Without ever bothering to actually match the facts.
Which is weird, because most of these people were probably religion freaks so you would actually expect these guys to at least READ the whole damn thing before copying down something that will contradict everything that you talked about up until that point.

So, as to entertain you guys, let me show you a couple of contradictory stuff that you can find in the Bible. I will also give you a source, so you won't accuse me of stupidity (Not that you can do that, with the comment section down, tho...).

Also, all of these will be from the Old Testament.

So let's begin.

1. Quickly, according to the Bible when was the first man created? If you answered this with an obvious "after everything else, since men are the best creations ever", you might be wrong. Genesis 1:12- 26 might state that Adam was created AFTER everything else, but if you go to Genesis 2:5-9, you'll have another thing coming. There it clearly says that plants were created only AFTER Adam.

2. The same goes with animals. It seems to be unclear when they were actually made, since Genesis 2:19 clearly states that they were here after Adam was created, while Genesis 1:24-26 says it was the Man that was created last. Apparently not even God knew what he actually did only "a few days ago". He's probably getting old...

3. So after Adam and Eve were supposedly created, what was their main task? I'm guessing it would be to procreate (I won't even say anything about Eve being the only woman there - OR the part where the Bible mentions that Eve was created out of Adam's rib, so she is probably a clone of him or something). Genesis 1:28 is the part where God blesses them when it comes to doing the deed (I'm pretty sure he was a dirty old pervert, anyways), but later on, in Leviticus 12:1-8 it's clear that God hates women - especially pregnant ones. Also, apparently if you give birth to a girl you will be proclaimed even more "unclean" than if you would have a son. After all, God knows that you had a choice about what you can freaking push out your womb, can't you?

4. Genesis 1:31 seems to say that God is pretty happy with his work - with creating people and stuff, while Genesis 6:6 clearly states that God hated the fact that he created them. So what's the reason behind being a God anyway, if you don't know that creating a new species COULD turn out bad (especially when you place the three of knowledge right there so they can see it. Why the hell would you do that anyway?)

5. When did Adam and Eve eat from the tree? I'm guessing that it was probably BEFORE they had the children, right? Well, if that's correct, than why would Genesis 2:17 state that as soon as you ate from the tree of knowledge you would die? (While Genesis 5:5 clearly states that Adam lived 930 years?) I'm guessing God is also a big fat liar.

6. All right, let's go further, this time to Cain and Abel. So, in Genesis 4:4-5 we learn that both of the boys brought God some offerings, and Cain's wasn't. The first thing that popped into my head when I read this was that sure, Abel's offering was a BLOOD offering, with him slaying some animals and bringing it to God. Cain only brought some fruits (because he wasn't a fucking shepherd, mind you, he worked with plants!) - and what would God do with damn fruits, right? But let me go further in. 2 Chronicles 19:7 says that "God does not tolerate perverted justice, partiality, or the taking of bribes".  Well, why would he 1. offer partiality when it comes to two brothers, and 2. take bribes (I still think offerings are bribes).

7. Proverbs 15:3 states that God knows everything. So if this is true, why did he have to ask Cain where Abel is, in Genesis 4:9? Was that a rhetoric question? Also, in Genesis 18:20-21, in relation to Sodom and Gomorrah, it says that God actually came down to check out how things were going. Now very all-knowing, is it?

8. Genesis 11:1-9 says that the whole world was talking in one single language - and they began building a tower. They did this, because they wanted a base point so they could all meet up once or twice - you know, a grand building that could probably stand as a beacon for all the people in the world. God is apparently bipolar too - because he saw that they were building a big tower, and thought: well, that's not right, let's confuse them a little bit. In this part there is actually NOTHING that says God confused their language because they wanted to reach God. God actually came down (once again!) to see what's happening, and saw the building, and he was all like: dudes, if you speak the same language there will be nothing impossible for you, so let's fuck it all up, so you can live a few more thousand years without understanding one another. But back to the point at hand: Gen. 10:5, 20 and 31 all claim that the descendants of Noah - every tribe of them - spoke different languages. Which is a little weird, because what was the point of Babel then?

9.  Esau seems to have been one hell of a playa', because in Genesis 16:34 he married two Hittite women, but Genesis 36:2 also states that he married three Canaanite women. Well, I'm guessing one doesn't really say the other can't be true...

10. In Genesis 35:10 God renames Jacob Israel, while just a few pages later, in Genesis 46:2, god seems to forget that he renamed the guy. I'm telling you guys, God is suffering from Alzheimer.

And now, on to Moses.

11. It seems there is some kind of confusion between who Moses married, cause  num.12:1 says it was an Ethipian woman, while Ex. 3:1 says he married a girl from Midian.

12. The Egyptians must have had some zombie animals around the house in the Bible times, because Ex. 9:6 says that God murdered them all - and then in Ex. 9:10 they were probably reanimated, because it says that all the animals suddenly had boils, and then in Ex. 9:25 the animals were also smote to death by some hail. Poor animals... And THEN, when it was almost over, in Ex. 12:29, God also killed every first-born baby of these zombie animals.

13. Plants didn't have it any better either, I'm afraid: Ex. 9:25 says that the hail destroyed them all too - only to be destroyed once again in Ex. 10:15 by the zombie locusts. I'm guessing zombie animals need some zombie plants to feed on...

14. Deuteronomy 20:13-17 and Exodus 3:22 both say that God told the Israelites to plunder and rob their enemies before they elope - and they did just that. Which isn't that surprising, because "to the victor go the spoils", but when it comes to God you might expect some... well. Decency. Also, the Bible clearly states in Lev. 19:11, 13: Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another. Do not defraud or rob your neighbor. Why would God expect people to keep these rules, if he can't keep them himself?

15. Moses was the only one allowed near god, in Ex. 24:2 (Which is weird, since God is not really supposed to be a physical being - but then if we take into account those instances where it's stated that "God came down to Earth", it's more believable. Also if this would be true, it's kind of lame that he would send Jesus - apparently, his only son to do his own dirty job. I'm guessing God is also a coward. ), but then only a few sentences later, in Ex. 24:9-11 it says that there were about 75 people who went and had a nice business dinner with the big guy.

16. Moses was also a hypocrite, because in Exodus 32:19 he gets angry at people for having idols - while in Numbers 21:9 he himself makes one.

17. The numbers of the Israelites differs too. I wouldn't have a problem with this, really - if it was just a few numbers, but hey: Ex. 12:37 says they were about six hundred thousand men (not including women and children), while 1 kings. 20:15 says there were about 7000 people in total. Uhm... where would these guys get 600000 men (which would mean more than 1500000 people in total - and I didn't even include the fact that most men seemed to have more than one wife) anyways? That's about like saying that every single Hungarian person from Romania would gather up in one place and march off somewhere. Can you imagine the numbers? That's about as how many people live in Bucharest.

Oh, damn, look at the numbers till now. And we didn't even scratch the surface. I got all of these info from THIS site - and it has 101 of contradictions you might want to check out. It's quite entertaining, really. Also, try to read the passages they are based on - they mention those too! - because at some of them I noticed that they are not exactly true (as far as I can understand what I'm reading). Which means that you have to read it all and decide.

Until tomorrow, guys. Until tomorrow.