Only a couple more days left till my first exam (literally), and suddenly I'm anxious.
I guess this is pretty much how I felt in high school at the end of the fourth year - hoping that I will actually pass the tests without a problem so I can finally move on.
To tell you the truth, at this point I don't even have a doubt that I will be moving on to something else, either way. At this point I'm just waiting for closure one way or another.
And since later on today I have to start with my studies, I thought that I shall get this blog post out of the way now. You know... so I can focus (as things usually go, I got an MMO invite yesterday, AGAIN just before exams, and I had to decline, of course. HOW do people always guess when I'm too busy to play? These last few years this happened a whole bunch of times already...)
But back to my ramblings.
I guess these last posts are starting to look like a teenager's journal with all my random thoughts put down in it.
So, yesterday I had an interesting discussion going on with some people (not going to say names or WHERE I had the discussion, because I want to have at least one place where someone I know in RL isn't looking :P)
This discussion was mainly about how some people throw around "the L word" at every possible moment, while others refrain from even going NEAR it.
And this line of thought made me think of a few moments in my life when I asked some of my friends why do they like me. The answer was of course a shrug and possibly some random thoughts that everyone would say out of moral obligation.
Seeing how I also find it frustrating when people ask me about my emotions, I always let the question pass - but it doesn't mean that I don't want to actually KNOW.
One of my friends once told me that I'm over-analyzing things (not in relation to this, but in general), which is probably true, but I can't help it. Besides, when it comes down to it, I don't think there is such a thing as over-analyzing - in fact I find it hard to believe that some people DON'T analyze anything around them :P
Still, the question remains: why do people like me?
And I don't mean in that "eh, you're nice" way - there are billions of nice people out there. I mean in the way "what's the thing that made you stick around when all the others lost interest, and what's the thing that other people don't have but I do?"
I'm guessing the question is pretty hard, eh? AND it's a double edged knife too - I guess if I can ask this question from others I should know the same answer considering them. It's only fair, that way, isn't it?
I know, questions like this make you think HARD. Which is always good :D
Soooo... I'll show you mine if you show me yours? :P
Also I propose to all of you guys who read this to think about it for a moment, and possibly try to actually tell someone, and as I said, not in that ego-stroking way wither. Just cold, hard truths. Most people will appreciate it.
